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from The Big Kahuna:

Phil: The question is, do you have any character at all? And if you want my honest opinion, Bob, you do not. For the simple reason that you don’t regret anything yet.

Bob: Are you saying I won’t have any character unless I do something I regret?

Phil: No, Bob. I’m saying you’ve already done plenty of things to regret. You just don’t know what they are. It’s when you discover them. When you see the folly in something you’ve done. And you wish you had to do over. But you know you can’t because it’s too late. So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you. To remind you that life goes on. The world will spin without you. You really don’t matter in the end. Then will you attain character. Because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself all across your face.


Phil: It doesn’t matter whether you’re selling Jesus or Buddha or civil rights or ‘How to Make Money in Real Estate With No Money Down.’ That doesn’t make you a human being; it makes you a marketing rep. If you want to talk to somebody honestly, as a human being, ask him about his kids. Find out what his dreams are – just to find out, for no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it’s not a conversation anymore; it’s a pitch. And you’re not a human being; you’re a marketing rep.


Larry: Phil… man, we’re in Wichita, Kansas. What does it matter whether we’re on the 1st floor or the 500th floor? It all looks the same!


Larry: Did you mention perhaps what line of industrial lubricants Jesus would have endorsed?


Larry: Here’s to the profound religious experience that comes from doing a job well and being grossly underpaid.

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