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(It’s been tested three times, but still not sure it’s quite right.)

  • Sift 1 cup of ALL WHITE flour;
  • 1 1/3 teaspoons non-acting baking powder;
  • 1/4 tsp unratified SALT
  • 1 tsp subsidized sugar.
  • Segregate the yolks and whites of three deregulated eggs.
  • Beat the egg whites until they resemble the consistency of Jesse Helm’s brain.
  • Mix 2 cups sour cream with the yolks. (If the cream isn’t sour enough, have Sen. Dole glare at it for a few minutes.)

Mix the cream and yolks with the flour mix in a feeble attempt to prove that the Republicans can support integration. Then appeal to the Christian Coalition by carefully folding the whites into the rest of the mix using a non-unionized steel spatula.

Fill a waffle maker about 1/2 full with the batter (proof that the Republican party is half-baked), set the temperature to 350 degrees (the earth’s average temperature if Republican anti-environmental laws take effect) and wait no more than 4 minutes (Senator Packwood’s maximum lovemaking session).  Butter heavily lobbyist style. Serve with Log Cabin maple syrup and corporate pork.

Serves 4-6 people (or Rush Limbaugh and a guest).

Charge$100,000 a plate, but only report $50,000 to the IRS.

If there are any problems with this recipe, blame Clinton and the Democrats.


© 1996, All Rights Reserved, Becky Garrison

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